**Sarp Soykan** I was about to go crazy. The man who was supposed to be my father-in-law had ruined everything. He had killed Firuze and her husband without batting an eye. I had told him not to interfere. I was handling it. Maybe they deserved to die, but there was an innocent little child involved. I was going to punish them a bit and then let them go.
The scene I witnessed at the warehouse had further frayed my nerves. He had shot both of them in the head. Taking the phone from my pocket, I said, "Get rid of both of them." Ahmet said, "Brother, what should we do?" I thought for a moment. "Take them to a suitable place at Cemil's house." "Okay, brother." I had told the police in my statement that my wife was kidnapped through Zerrin and her husband. So there was no issue with them being found at Cemil's house. They would think they had killed them and dumped them after finishing their business. The corpses looked terrible; it was making my stomach ache. This wasn't my first time seeing a corpse, of course, but the couple's little girl came to my mind. An innocent little girl. I wasn't a cruel person. I wouldn't have wanted this. What would happen to the little girl now? When I called Aziz Bey, he answered the phone saying, "I guess you found my daughter, son-in-law." "Believe me, the only thing I need right now is to find my Ceyda." "If you haven't found her, why did you call me?" "I told you not to interfere, I'm handling it. Why did you kill this couple?" "That couple you're demanding an answer from ruined our lives. My daughter is missing, it's unclear if my son will recover. And your father, your sister, all those dead people, whose account are you demanding from me?" "Look, father, what we've been through is very heavy, but there's a five-year-old little girl involved."
"Did your mercy just kick in now? You're not so innocent either. Don't give me a conscience lecture when you've killed so many men. Okay, I'm sorry for the child too, but her mother and father deserved it. If there's no other issue, I'm hanging up. My daughter is out there somewhere, and you're worried about others." "Wait, don't hang up. Ceyda was kidnapped by Cemil and Zerrin. I made the men talk." He was silent for a while as I spoke. Maybe he wasn't surprised by this, but he probably thought they wouldn't do it. "They took her to an old factory. They held her in a room with iron bars, just like in your basement. They injected her with drugs. I don't know with whom, but there was a small shootout. They had already left by the time we got there." "Where are you? I'm coming there. Let's check Zerrin's house," he said. His voice was angrier than before. ****** We had turned Zerrin's house upside down but couldn't find any trace or anyone. Until now, we all thought Zerrin was abroad. When we went to the house of Zerrin's father, Mr. Erhan, the man was nervous because it was early morning. He had gone into shock when he heard about the events. He knew nothing. He had learned from us that Zerrin was in Turkey. Furious at not finding any trace, I argued with both of them and left. I told my men to hand over the little girl to her relatives. I hope the child has a relative. And I couldn't make this issue my problem anymore. I was going to go home, change my clothes, and leave. When I reached my room door, I tried to take a deep breath. It was as if behind the door, my beautiful wife had fallen asleep again waiting for me on the balcony. How many hours had I been without her? What would I do? Living without knowing her condition was so heavy. I opened the door and entered. But I couldn't move forward. Everywhere smelled of my Ceyda. Our bed was neatly made, empty; my Ceyda wasn't there. I turned to my right and looked at the balcony where she waited for me every night, getting cold. She waited for me for hours, sitting tirelessly. I had neglected her so much. I hadn't taken care of her. I hadn't made time for her. I forced her into my life and didn't appreciate her worth. And in our last conversation, I broke her heart.
I put my head in my hands and sat on the floor, screaming. I was terrified of losing her like crazy. I was shouting and crying loudly. My heart was burning. My chest was tight. I hit my knees. "My Ceyda, where are you? What condition are you in? Until I find you, sleep is forbidden to me. Death is forbidden to me. I swear, I will kill that Cemil bastard and Zerrin filth and whoever helped them, whoever touched you, one by one with my own hands." "Sarp, son." When Sister Peri entered my room, I couldn't look at her. I didn't get up from the floor. She knelt beside me and sat on her knees. She hugged me with a mother's tenderness. "Son, be patient. Everything will be alright. We all need you. You are a very strong man. If you give up, what will we do?" "I'm not strong," I said. My tears were still flowing. I couldn't protect my family, Sister Peri. My family was ruined because of me. What if something happens to my father? When Sibel wakes up, she'll be devastated; how will I face her? My wife, whom I love more than my life, what condition is she in, did they harm her? I don't know. They held her in an empty factory. They injected her with drugs, just like they did to her mother. They left before we found the place. I know who did all this, but I can't find them." "Don't blame yourself, son. You wouldn't want this to happen. Get up, take a shower, pull yourself together. Sleep a bit, gather your strength so you can find them faster. You will find your wife, everyone will recover. Come on, get up, pull yourself together." When I got up from the floor and lay on my bed, I tightly hugged the pillow that still carried my wife's scent for a while. Where are you, my love? Where are you, my spring scent? ************ **Ceyda Soykan** "We can't keep her here any longer." "You need to manage for a day or two."
"You don't seem to understand, it's only a matter of time before they find us here. You've already ruined my medical career. It was easy before I was exposed. But now they know me." "Stop whining. Don't worry, the hospital administration will protect our confidentiality. You know the hospital owner is my father's closest friend. He loves me too. Nothing will happen. We'll leave here in a few days. Besides, it was about time for you to retire anyway." "Listen, if I'm caught, I'll drag you down with me, and Cemil too, so act accordingly." "Are you threatening me?" Zerrin and a man were arguing. Their voices were very close. I had severe pains in my head, arm, and groin. Their shouting was causing me more pain. Groaning, I opened my eyes. They didn't notice me and were still arguing. When I looked around, I realized I was in a hospital. I turned my eyes to the window; it was dark outside. It was night. What had happened to me? I remember being shot in the arm, but what was this severe pain in my groin? And what about the blood flowing from my legs that I last remembered? When the door opened and the man they called the boss entered, he looked at me, paused, and then said, "Maybe you should be a little quieter. Our heads are already in deep shit, you're making the situation worse." Zerrin said, "Listen, Cemil, I'm dealing with this coward enough, don't annoy me further." "I think you should be scared too, Zerrin. Sarp is alive. He's looking for his wife everywhere. He found the factory; it's only a matter of time before he finds this place. I think you should be worried. You got us all into trouble for your grudges." Sarp. Sarp is alive. I can't believe it. Sarp is alive. "Are you complaining too? Whereas you were quite enthusiastic when I made you this offer. What happened now, tell me? Weren't you the one who wanted revenge on Sarp? Answer me!" "Sarp," I said. My voice came out with great difficulty. I thought they hadn't heard me, but all three of them turned to me at once.
"Sarp is alive." I had been so convinced Sarp was dead that when I heard he was alive, I wanted to laugh hysterically. Struggling to sit up in the bed I was lying in, I put all my pains aside and started laughing. "So you're awake. Don't be so happy that Sarp is alive. Because you will never see each other again. If Sarp isn't dead, you will die slowly, in agony." "You are a pathetic creature," I said to Zerrin. "I feel so sorry for you." "I'll show you who's pathetic. Who do you think you are?" Zerrin said, marching towards me. The two men next to her held her by the arms. "Calm down," said the man called Cemil. "Go rest a bit. Your nerves are shot." Zerrin was trembling with anger, pointing at me with a frown, "Watch her. I don't want any problems," she said, slamming the door as she left. "Sarp will find you, you know that, right?" I said. Both men fixed their eyes on me. Cemil said, "Don't underestimate us so much, little lady. I don't know if you'll be alive when Sarp finds us. You're so unlucky, as if being that man's daughter wasn't enough, you also became Sarp's wife." "Are you going to determine my luck? You will all pay the price, and in the heaviest way. You harmed my family. I don't know what condition they are in, but all this won't go unpunished. You..." I said, looking at the man in the doctor's coat.
"You're a doctor, supposedly, though I doubt that's true. Why would a doctor get involved in such things?" The hoarseness in my voice had cleared. I was speaking more clearly now. I didn't want to show them my helplessness. While the doctor remained silent, Cemil answered me again. "You know nothing, poor girl," he said, laughing. "Though I say poor, I don't understand how you managed to kill six men. You look like a weak, powerless girl. Tell me, how did you do it?" "I would do anything for my family. I will kill you too. You will see what it means to harm my family." With a fake smile far from reality, he said, "In this state?" and turned to the doctor. "I'm going to rest a bit. On your way out, have one of the men outside wait here. This woman is as crazy as her husband; you never know what she'll do. In fact, use some of those drugs you use." As the filth Cemil left, I turned my gaze to the doctor. "Doctor, why aren't you speaking? It's obvious you're just a pawn too. You do whatever order is given. You're misusing your duty. You're a pathetic creature too." "Calm down. Don't shout at me. Just because I'm keeping my calm doesn't mean you should insult me." The doctor's face reminded me of someone familiar. But I don't think I've ever seen him before. "Instead of thinking about my pathetic state, pity yourself. When they brought you in, you were shot in the arm. I removed the bullet. Your arm will be fine. The pain in your groin is because you miscarried. I cleaned it out...." My ears started ringing. He was still talking, but I couldn't hear him. What did he say? You miscarried. My baby. Sarp and my baby. I was pregnant. But they took it from me. Because of the psychological and physical violence they inflicted on me, my baby couldn't hold on. I lost it without even knowing of its existence. I lost my baby. "Apparently, you didn't know you were pregnant. You were five weeks pregnant."
"Because of you!" I shouted. You ruined me. You took all my loved ones from me. You took my baby from me without me even feeling its existence." I got out of bed, shouting. They had taken off my torn dress and put me in a hospital gown. I was only just realizing this. Despite all my pains, I quickly grabbed the doctor by the collar. "Get me out of here. Get me out." As I squeezed his collar with all my strength, he looked at my face calmly. He didn't even hold my arms. I saw his arms move slowly and felt a sharp sting in my neck. As my vision darkened, I said with a numb voice, "I will kill you." ************ When I came to, it was morning. My head was dazed, confused, as if my mind was coming and going. I put my hand on my neck, rubbing the spot where the needle had stung. To gather my senses, I closed and opened my eyes for a while. Frowning, I thought for a moment, and then my subconscious slowly began to return. The last thing I remembered was the fake doctor injecting drugs into my neck. I had to escape from their hands before they played with my memory like they did with my mother. My mother, my dear mother. What condition are you in, are you alive? What did they put you through for years? They took your years, your loved ones. They took your baby from you. They tore me away from you. And now they took my baby from me, Mom. They took it without me even feeling its existence, Mom. Wiping my flowing tears, I sat up in bed. When I saw the man standing like a statue they had placed in the room, I flinched at first. Ignoring him, I got out of bed and had taken a couple of steps when the man waiting like a statue blocked my way. "I need to use the restroom," I said, frowning. He made way for me. The exit door was next to the restroom; if I tried to escape, I couldn't guess what awaited me behind the door. Also, with the pain in my arm, I didn't know how fast I could run. When I stood in front of the mirror, the reflection seemed not to belong to me. My eyes were sunken, my skin had turned yellow. I felt nauseous and weak. I think not a single morsel had passed through my throat for two or three days.
When I left the restroom, I walked towards the bed and sat down. At that moment, the door opened. It was the fake doctor coming with a tray. Placing the tray on my lap, he said, "We don't want you to die of hunger." "How would I know if you put drugs in the food or not?" I said. "That's up to you. Eat or don't eat, it's your choice." I was so hungry that I couldn't think about the rest. I started eating the food on the tray. Meanwhile, I was studying the doctor who was sitting opposite me, staring intently. I was comparing this fake doctor to someone. His green eyes seemed very familiar. The drugs must have increased my forgetfulness level. "Now I understand very well what my son found in you," he said, and the spoon I was putting in my mouth stopped in mid-air. I looked at the fake doctor more carefully. "You're a beautiful girl, just like your mother. You look a lot like her." "You," I said. Of course, you're Koray's father. Your son is a maniac like you. He tried to kidnap me by force from my henna night." "He loved you. If you want..." "I don't want anything from you. So you were the one who faked my mother's death. And the one who tore me from my mother. What did you want, tell me, what did you want from us? You ruined my family. Twenty years, twenty years my mother was tortured because of you. What kind of grudge was this? A person can't be this heartless." As I got up from the bed where I was sitting, the man standing like a statue in front of us blocked my way again. "Just like you tore me from my mother, you took my baby too. But you won't make me live my mother's fate; I won't allow it. I will make you all regret it. I will take revenge for my family in the most painful way." "What's going on here? Why are you shouting?"
At Zerrin's arrival, I turned to her. "Are you going to turn the hospital upside down?" Throwing the bag in her hand at me, she said, "Put these on, we're leaving." I picked up the bag that fell to the floor, and as I passed by Zerrin, I looked into her eyes and said, "I will watch your death with pleasure." ****** We had left the hospital and gotten into cars. Since they were all armed and outnumbered, I didn't make a sound. When we arrived at a large house with a garden, one of the men pulled me by the arm, dragging me towards the house as if forcing me to walk. "Slow down, you animal, can't you see my arm is injured?" He continued dragging me without loosening his grip at all. When we entered, he pushed me and let go, while Zerrin, Cemil, and the doctor had also entered the house. "Put us up for a while, Tolga. Until we arrange a house." "No problem, Cemil. The house is big, you can each choose a room," he said, grabbing my arm and forcing me upstairs. "Where are you taking her?" At Zerrin's call from behind, the doctor looked back and said, "Don't worry, her room is in the basement, but first I have something to show her." Not caring about my pain, he tightly grasped my arm and quickly climbed the stairs. Luckily, there were sneakers in the bag where Zerrin had given me pants and a sweater. I managed to climb the stairs without falling. When we entered one of the rooms, he pushed me to the floor without any mercy. You bastard, I'm not making a sound now, but I will eradicate all of you. You've turned me into a completely different person. I'm a killer now; I'm beyond redemption from now on. Whereas before, I couldn't even hurt an ant. Look at the state you've reduced me to. The uncertainty about whether my family is alive or what condition they're in, this fire inside me has turned me into a completely different person. Theonly thing illuminating me in this dark, bottomless uncertainty was learning that the man I love is alive. As I tried to get up from the floor, I saw the man sitting in a wheelchair in front of me, who had slowly lifted his head from the book he was reading and was looking at me in surprise. I was surprised too. But my surprise wasn't from him seeing me here, but from seeing him in a wheelchair. "Ceyda," he said, shaking off his surprise. Before I could answer, his father answered him. "Son, I brought Ceyda to you. So she can see what condition her husband put you in." No way, did Sarp do this to him? When he tried to kidnap me I thought he had been beaten to death by Sarp. I had never asked or brought up the subject later.